You people need to graduate already so I can stop feeling morally obligated to do unmentionable things to my liver. Plus, the next morning, day, and evening are all wasted in my dark basement eating Girl Scout cookies like I got dumped. This one particular afternoon is different though. After hoisting the Jolly Roger and swashbuckling some jazzy video software off the internet, I would like to announce my debut on YouTube, in the following video. It's so masculine. You're going to love it. Let this be proof that although something is embarrassing, in this case to me, it still must be used for the greater comic good. Now, on with the show.

PREFACE:

Just as we were going to play credit card roulette to see who took out the trash, my roommate Dave said, "Did you see the size of that insect?" The following is us trying to flush it out of the closet.