Yesterday I walked into the gym and up to the front desk like I do every time, and said my membership number like I do every time. Usually the guy there just types it in and says, "K," and I walk on in and do my thing. This time though, he started smiling when I walked up. "Dude, I totally saw you on TV last night." I thought about it for a second, not recalling any time I've been on TV, and puzzled, asked, "....was I in handcuffs?"

He laughed. "No, no. You were on this show on MTV called....um...."

"I bet you will," finishing his sentence.

I totally forgot about my two seconds of fame on this gameshow that came and filmed a segment at our school during homecoming about six years ago. I was doing work on campus, when my phone rang. Seb and Jeremy Moss were at the bar. "Perry, you need to get down to TOTS asap. There's a rail with your name on it, and they're filming something down here." I told the group I was working with that I had a family emergency and appeared at the bar within seconds.

There were cameras being set up outside, so I slugged a couple of large glasses of liquor with the boys and patiently waited for my shot at infamy. Eventually, they got ready to shoot. There were two different events for the show, "I bet you will." One of the events was a total clusterfuck and never made it on the air. They dressed two guys in mascot costumes with their hands tied behind their back, and had all of the drunk frat jocks from the bar throw footballs at them. And me. They actually pulled me aside twice and asked if I had been drinking. The guy who won got an X-box, and a trip to the hospital (seriously). The other guy? I think our friend Dunner broke his testicle.

The second event did make it on air. I muscled out a bunch of sorority girls for prime seating directly in the camera shot, and one of them started getting all touchy-feely with me, so it looked like I had a girlfriend. I was fine with this because 1) she was hot, and 2) I wanted all my friends back home to know that I had hot girls pawing at me.

The contestants had to do something with all these gross nasty bugs, I can't remember exactly. I was too busy trying to make out on cable TV.

Eventually, the show aired. For having such prime seating on camera, I was pleasantly pleased to see that the only time you see me on the show, was for about two seconds when they revealed all the bugs, and my girlfriend and I made gross faces. To be honest, I looked like a total pussy.

"I bet you will," finishing his sentence back at the gym. "I looked pretty cool huh?"

"Being on cops would have been a lot cooler."

And with that, I slunk into the gym to be shamed in peace.