Today I was on the phone with Graham and he told me that he was eating a bagel sandwich, so I decided to go over to the Einstein's by my place and get a couple for myself. I was standing there in line and I looked over to this girl standing by the drink machine. She was good looking. Not smoking hot, but good looking. I thought to myself, "Why can't I seem to meet a girl like that?" That's about the point where her boyfriend turned around and caught me staring at her.  

He was a tall gangly kid with a faux-hawk. Something was familiar about him so I kept staring at him, trying to figure out whether or not I could beat him in a fist-fight. It was about that point that I realized I was staring at Andy Roddick, who had just caught me checking out his supermodel fiancee. So, obviously, I let out my inner sorority girl and sat as close as I could to overhear whatever famous people talk about. I texted Graham who drove over to confirm the scene.

So, why can't I seem to meet a girl like that?

1) They're supermodels.

2) They date millionaires.

3) I am not Andy Roddick.